Is spanking an effective parenting tool?
9 Comment By Amrita Sheokand | August 25, 2009
In my last post I wrote about creative punishments since spanking no longer seems acceptable. But is spanking really out of the picture? What do parents in the U.S. think about this issue?
New Zealanders voted recently on a non-binding referendum that would bring back spanking as a means of disciplining children in their country. A few years ago the New Zealand government criminalized physical means of discipline to prevent child abuse.
The referendum asked this question: “Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offense in New Zealand?”
88 percent people voted “no,” according to Bloomberg.com.
This news brought up a discussion on the Patt Morrison show on National Public Radio yesterday. The segment was trying to explore the current thinking in the U.S with regard to hitting children to discipline them. The guest was Karen Sternheimer, professor of sociology at the University of Southern California, Los Angeles.
She said that looking at trends over the last 25 years, an overwhelming percentage of Americans still feel that some amount of spanking is required to discipline kids. This does not necessarily include child experts and child psychologists. But this percentage has been declining. She said surprisingly younger Americans are more likely to support spanking. The group least likely to condone spanking- females over 45.
But Sternheimer seemed to doubt the effectiveness of this method as do many childcare experts. However, young people, she said, have this belief that so many problems can be solved if kids are spanked.
The professor believes that removing privileges, perhaps permanently, take more time and patience but are a better way of getting children to behave.
“If we’re so concerned about kids and violence how is it that the first way we often think we can teach them is through violence,” she said.
She worries about where some parents might cross the line drawing the attention of a social worker. “We don’t have a clear social cultural or legal definition,” said Sternheimer.
So how much spanking is okay? Do you think it's effective?
Also, are parents who themselves were spanked more likely to think this is a good way to parent?
Comments
Thank You for your comment, Pdeverit. I respect your idea that children can be disciplined without being hit and like you've mentioned there is literature to support that view. Of course, there are plenty of books that suggest that spanking is a perfectly normal way to discipline kids. It's just a personal choice that parents should be able to make without being judged.
Posted by Amrita Sheokand on October 01, 2009Donforster, thanks for taking the time to comment on the post. It is heartening to hear that there is no difference between children who have been spanked and those who have not been slapped. But this is why I feel it should be left to parents to decide how they want to discipline their children. These days there is such a stigma to spanking kids that many parents are afraid of being judged. If my child misbehaves in the mall and I feel the need to slap her, I should be able to do it without someone calling child services on me!
Posted by Amrita Sheokand on October 01, 2009Thank You for your comment, Taking Care. I too am not against the concept of spanking. I think it does get the message across to children quite clearly. I think a smack is especially useful when the child is doing something dangerous and you need him to not repeat it under any circumstances. However, it takes more patience to come up with creative punishments and not use spanking as a method to discipline every time the kid does something wrong. But yes, we need to be mindful of the difference between spanking and beating.
Posted by Amrita Sheokand on October 01, 2009Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on "spanking".
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
The LDS Church (http://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html click "quotes on spanking"),
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Posted by PDeverit on September 11, 2009Spanking? Let's not use a euphemism. Hitting. Rhe Law once allowed us to hit our slaves, and our wives, and our children as a corrective measure. As we matrued as a society, we abolished slavery, and made domestic violence a criminal offence.
No matter how mad someone makes me, I would be arrested for assault if I "spanked" them. (slapped, atually, but what is a spank but a slap)
The only people we are legally allowed to hit anymore are children. Not even someone else's, just our own.
I know good parents who spank, bad parents who spank, good parents that don't spank, and bad parents that don't spank.
In 30 years of teaching and being a parent, I have seen absolutely no correlation between spanked and not-spanked kids (including my own) in terms of their level of success, being well-adjusted, getting an education, and being happy.
I guess my point is, not whether spanking is wrong or not, but their are more than enough succesful parents and succesful kids who have never had hitting as part of their childhood.
So if a child can be raised successfully without hitting (which is widely proven), why hit?
It does take more patience and time at first not to hit, but it can be done, so why hit?
Posted by donfoster on September 07, 2009I think creative ways to get children to behave is a nice modern day way to approach discipline. However I don't think spanking is a wrong way, it is simply another way. So long as we differentiate the difference between spank and beat.
Physical pain is the same as other punishments that cause emotional or hurt egos. Discomfort is the key to punishment and discipline is the reward.
A parent who is releasing anger as a result of spanking can be just as overly aggressive with other creative ways to punish. The key is to discipline not lash out.
Posted by Taking Care on September 07, 2009I think creative ways to get children to behave is a nice modern day way to approach discipline. However I don't think spanking is a wrong way, it is simply another way. So long as we differentiate the difference between spank and beat.
Physical pain is the same as other punishments that cause emotional or hurt egos. Discomfort is the key to punishment and discipline is the reward.
A parent who is releasing anger as a result of spanking can be just as overly aggressive with other creative ways to punish. The key is to discipline not lash out.
Posted by Taking Care on September 07, 2009Great point, Chaya. How "spanking" is defined is key to this issue. Most laws that try to criminalize spanking is out of fear of what a smack could escalate to. I absolutely agree that a single spank usually is enough to let the child know he's done something wrong. But I think now parents have gotten so paranoid about social services knocking on their doors that they've begun to resort only to reasoning with kids or at the most grounding them. I personally feel a little bit "physical redirection" as you put it, is very essential to keep children out of trouble.
Thanks a lot for your input, Chaya. Appreciate it.
I think the issues really needs to be defined first.
What is a spanking?
How many times is the child hit and by whom?
To my mind when a child is endangering him/herself or others and perhaps in a temper, unable to listen to verbal direction, a single spank with the hand can be an effective means of getting control of the situation to protect those involved. In our house we call it "physical redirection" and it happens less than once in many months. Also, a spank doesn't have to hurt, or be hard. The message is clear without the pain, and as long as the physical redirection is followed by calm repeating of the rule of behavior and expectation in the house/store/friend's home or where ever, the child and the parent can live within the boundries set.
It is important that a child never be spanked by someone other than their primary care provider (usually the parent) No one should be allowed to touch another child and children need to know this. The old saying of "it takes a village to raise a child" almost never applies to our modern USA living.